You know that thing where you have a perfectly good plan for your week, and then life decides to use your face as a piñata?

Yeah. That was this week.

I started Monday with a wide-open calendar and big intentions. I was going to finally create that 1-pager that makes it easy for people to hire me. You know, the thing that clearly explains what I do and how I can help – because unemployment ends before Thanksgiving and the mortgage company doesn't accept "vibes" as payment.

Have I made the 1-pager yet?

Nope.

Instead, the week unfolded like this: Remember that vendor I mentioned last week? The one who reached out even after hearing that a big client (Google UK) watched some random YouTube video of me and decided to pass? We finally had our call. She runs Educating Matters, a company that's been connecting corporations with speakers for 20+ years. And here's what she told me: just because one client passes doesn't mean you're not the bee's knees for another. That's the kind of wisdom that only comes from decades in the field. So now I need to create a speaker 1-pager. Similar to the "hire me" one but different. You know.

Then Wednesday happened.

Full-on Pit of Despair.

The kind of day where your brain whispers that you're incapable of even the simplest things and it's laughable that you thought you could start a business. The kind of day where something small triggers an old wound – like being an Executive Assistant in Houston getting reprimanded for not being properly deferential to an oil-and-gas Partner back in the '90s – and suddenly you're right back there, feeling powerless and "less than."

I'm like a 5-year-old when it comes to traditional marketing: I will NOT do cold emails or sales funnels. WILL NOT. Which means my plan is to build something so irresistible that my perfect clients come to me. It's starting to work. But not fast enough to cover cat food and the mortgage.

So yeah. Wednesday was tears. Thursday was a whirlwind.

I talked to Marion in Portugal about partnering with R Generation (I'm one of the founding members and they just named me a creator!). I led a 45-minute "Watch Me AI" session where I built a website from a LinkedIn PDF in real time. I had a 30-minute interview with Uber for a role that feels made for me (commitment, not attachment – if it's mine, great; if not, I'll figure it out). And I wrapped up the day with one of the best AI Confidential sessions I've ever run because the woman who lit the spark for my lifelong love of design thinking showed up after five years of us being out of touch.

Life coming full circle.

Friday was a meeting with extraordinary HR women building something new. Saturday was an anniversary brunch with my husband at Fogo de Chão – eight years of marriage, celebrated with too much meat and just enough joy.

Here's what I'm learning: building a business feels exactly like a job search. Months of consistent effort. Crickets. A growing suspicion you're shouting into the void. And then one thing shifts. One person sees you. One door cracks open.

You don't get to control the timeline. You just get to keep showing up.

So that's what I'm doing. One messy, imperfect, occasionally tear-soaked week at a time.

My brain on a podcast

I got to sit down with Resilient Journey and talk about mental health, burnout, and how AI actually fits into all of this. If you've ever wondered why I approach AI the way I do – or if you're just curious about what happens when someone lets me ramble for 30 minutes – give it a listen.

What happened vs. the story about what happened

My friend Nicole posted this brilliant little video clip (1 minute in length) that perfectly captures how our brains process events versus the stories we tell ourselves about those events. This is chef's kiss level neuroscience made accessible.

Also: Nicole and I are starting a podcast called "Rails Optional" where we're going live on Substack and letting our squirrel brains run free in real time. Because apparently the world needs more neurodivergent women talking about whatever pops into their heads. Stay tuned.

Personal space: A cat's perspective

This video about cats and personal space made me laugh so hard I snorted. If you have a cat – or have ever known a cat – you'll understand.

Partner of the week

Turns out newsletters don't pay for themselves. Who knew? This week's partner helps keep the lights on – and their work is legitimately useful:

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The Deep View solves this. We read everything, analyze what matters, and deliver only the intelligence you need. No duplicate stories, no filler content, no wasted time. Just the essential AI developments that impact your industry, explained clearly and concisely.

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Instead of spiraling about the holidays, let AI help with the actual stuff.

Look, the holidays are coming whether we're ready or not. And I don't know about you, but I'm already feeling the low-level panic about gifts, family dynamics, and trying to coordinate seventeen people with twelve different dietary restrictions.

So I made you something.

5 AI Prompts to Survive the Holidays Without Losing Your Mind

These aren't Pinterest-perfect prompts. They're for the real holidays. The ones where you're trying to find a gift for your nephew who's "really into cybersecurity" and you have no idea what that means. The ones where someone's definitely going to ask The Question you don't want to answer at Thanksgiving.

You know that moment when your brain starts whispering all the worst things about yourself and suddenly you're convinced you're terrible at everything?

Wednesday was that day for me. Full Pit of Despair. And while I eventually crawled out (good sleep, patient husband, whimsical friends), I realized: what if AI could help us reality-check our spirals while we're in them?

This prompt won't fix everything. But it can help you see which thoughts are facts and which ones are just your brain being mean.

Role
You are a kind, no-BS thinking partner who's good at spotting cognitive distortions

Objective
Help me reality-check what I'm telling myself

Context
I'm spiraling about [situation]. Here's what my brain is telling me: [list the thoughts]. I know some of this might not be true, but I can't see clearly right now

Output
First, tell me which thoughts are facts vs. stories. Then give me 2-3 questions I can ask myself to get unstuck

Why this works: Sometimes you just need someone (or something) to help you sort out what's real from what your spiral brain is making up. This won't replace therapy, but it can help you get through the next hour.

✨ Try it in ChatGPT (free version works great):

Okay, real talk: I'm the Chapter Lead for Culture First Twin Cities, and our first event absolutely fell on its face. So I really, really want this one to work.

My friend Tameka Allen is leading this session, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Tameka is the Founder of ModCulture and a Neuroinclusion Consultant. She's also brilliant, kind, and has a virtual presence that feels like a cozy, safe home. If you've ever felt like the workplace wasn't built for brains like yours – or if you lead people and want to create space where neurodivergent talent can actually thrive – this is for you.

What you'll gain:

This is an interactive workshop where everyone can contribute. Whether you're a people leader, HR professional, culture champion, or just someone who wants workplaces to work better for more people – you'll leave with tools you can actually use.

Right now I have exactly 1 person registered. So if you've been on the fence about joining one of these events – or if you know someone who'd benefit – this is your sign. It's free. It's virtual. And it matters.

Tuesday, November 18 | 8AM-9AM CST / 2PM-3PM UK

This isn't a webinar. It's a judgment-free tech exorcism for the brilliantly overwhelmed.

Join me for a FREE, lighthearted, practical, and surprisingly fun hour where we shake off AI fears – one playful prompt at a time. No jargon. No panic. No "optimization hacks." Just curiosity, laughter, and a safe space to learn.

Pajamas optional. Curiosity required.

Keep showing up. Keep building. Keep trusting that the right people will find you.

And if you're in your own Pits of Despair this week? You're not alone. Wednesday was rough. But Thursday reminded me why I keep going.

💜

Take care of yourself, take care of each other,

Deb

P.S. If the holidays are already stressing you out, grab those prompts. Forward them to someone who needs permission to make things easier.

P.P.S. Hit reply and tell me what's feeling hard right now. I read every single one, and sometimes your murky becomes my next newsletter topic.